Well they say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am i dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant
Its all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I’m in every evening serving chowder and ice tea
Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com
I coulda seen this comin’ at me like an atom bomb
they monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in T shirts

Well I married my dream girl.
I married my dream girl.
But she didnt tell me her credit was bad.
so now instead of living in a pleasant suburb.
we’re living in the basement at her mom and dads.
No we cant get a loan
for a respectable home.
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card.
If we’d gone to free credit report dot com,
I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.